Kiden Jonathan is a recent Canadian citizen and former Sudanese refugee who fled the civil war in her torn country. She experienced domestic abuse since the early days of her marriage and throughout the journey that brought her family from Sudan to Kenya and finally to Canada. This photo series, part of a larger long-term project, aims to show the impactful consequences of domestic abuse and a deeper perspective on the slow process of healing from its scars.
“His hands were around my neck. I could barely breathe. In a split second he went from a moment of celebrating with families and friends to a frightening outburst of violent jealousy.
The Christmas lights were fading in front of my eyes, yet I had the energy to react, grab his wrists and pull his hands down with all my strength.
I Did Not Want To Die
Shortly after I was able to free myself, I ran fast.
I wanted to cry but I knew I could not.
Around me I heard the voices of the people at the party.
Some of them called my name.
I went by without stopping.
I walked out of the building and the night swallowed me like that time in Kenya when he refused to take me to the hospital.
That night I had to walk alone in the darkness of a dangerous neighbourhood.
Once I made it to the emergency room, I was immediately diagnosed with pneumonia.
I should have left before.
I should have cried loudly the first time back in Sudan, when he did not allow me to buy a new pair of slippers.
I was ashamed in front of my friends.
I had to walk barefoot in the mud.
I could not go to church.
Canada welcomed our family.
I worked hard to become a nurse, yet he could not accept the fact that I was making more money than him.
In my mind I have always thought that he would have changed.
He never did.
At least until I stopped running, called the police and he got charged with physical assault.
My Dream Is The Joy Of A Family Yet
I spend my days working on my confidence.
I have always been told that I wasn't enough.
My former husband’s main concern was to keep me busy with kids in order to make me stay home and have less people in my life.
Sudanese men have a hard time with western standards.
The majority of them cannot cope with the dynamic freedom women have in Canada.
At this point of my life my main struggle is to become an empowered individual and determine my new path, without losing the trust and affection of my kids.
I stay positive.
I never did before.
My faith will be the lantern on my way and help me healing.â€
Kiden Jonathan during a group session at the Redwood Shelter in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.